The Seemly Resetting of Movable Type

The International Patent Office processes a wide variety of patent applications. Here below is an example which recently came to our attention:

Patent Application

An automated device for the seemly resetting of movable type

This marvellous automaton (see plan below) uses an optical process to locate unseemly words in a block of type. Then, through a system of gears, an extendable arm is deployed to extract the offending portions, replacing them with words more conducive to the upliftment of moral sentiment and conduct.

We hope that one of these ‘Clean Reader’ machines may be stationed in each printing shop throughout the wide reaches of the Gas-Lit Empire, so that the arena of literature and reading, so often a source of corruption, may at last become seemly.

 

Patent Application Status: Rejected

Reasons for decision: A fundamental misunderstanding of the relationship between words and meaning.

 

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  • Introduction

    Aspects of the Gas-Lit Empire are laid out in these pages for your perusal. Here are maps, monographs and mysteries. Here also you may follow clues through the maze of its streets and alleyways. Hidden stories await the perceptive eye.